Addition By Subtraction: Write Less, Say More

March 14, 2022

This is a guest post by Philip Seaver-Hall. Philip Seaver-Hall is a litigation attorney at Knox McLaughlin Gornall & Sennett, P.C. in Erie, Pennsylvania. He practices trial and appellate advocacy in Pennsylvania’s state and federal courts.

Want to make your legal writing punchier? Eliminate “glue words.” I define “glue words” as any words that bog down a sentence unnecessarily.

Here’s a sentence full of glue words: “As a result of the efforts of the financial consulting firm, the client was able to reach a point where the client could successfully meet its financial reporting obligations.”

Here’s one possible revision: “Because of the consulting firm’s efforts, the client met its financial reporting obligations.”

Why does the revision feel clearer and punchier? Two main reasons: (1) we’ve removed the compound constructions and (2) we’ve pushed the main verb closer to its subject. In both cases, we’ve cut out the glue.

Compound Constructions

Compound constructions—which are common sources of glue words—use several words when fewer would do. Here’s how that plays out in our example sentence:

As a result of → Because of
The efforts of the financial consulting firm → The consulting firm’s efforts

Here are some common compound constructions and their suggested alternatives:

Am able to → can
At that point in time → then
By means of → by
By reason of → because of
By virtue of → by, under
For the purpose of → to
For the reason that → because
In accordance with → under
Inasmuch as → since
In connection with → with, about, concerning, regarding
In favor of → for
In opposition to → against
In order to → to
In relation to → about, concerning, regarding
In the event that → if
In the nature of → like
Prior to → before
Pursuant to → under
Subsequent to → after
Was able to → could
With a view to → to
With reference to → about, concerning, regarding

Subject-Verb Reunion

In the second clause of our example sentence, we’ve removed a string of unnecessary verbs (“was,” “reach,” and “could”), adjectives (“able”), and adverbs (“successfully”). When words like these are removed, principal verbs naturally move closer to their subjects. Instead of saying “the client was able to reach a point where it could successfully meet,” we simply say “the client met.”

By avoiding compound constructions, and by reuniting principal subjects and verbs, you will activate your sentences while exercising linguistic economy. Readers—especially busy judges—appreciate that very much.